I stepped into my destiny. I committed myself to the first step and said yes. I stepped out of the chaos just for a moment, out of the confusion and uncertainty, and through the soft veil of time into connection, love, infinity.
Since I was a kid I wanted to ‘help heal the world of pain and suffering’ (my eyes roll now at my naivety.) Now I know that is not what is required of me, it’s not my place or my responsibility.
My responsibility is to heal myself, to eek out all the painful hooks and let go of all the suffering I chose to hold on to. It is my responsibility to shine like the sun, without casting any shadows on the world, so I can walk hand in hand with others as they embark on their own journey of healing and transformation.
You see I am a shaman of the Inca tradition, a medicine man, an energy worker, a conduit between heaven and earth. I started my journey in the south, place of the serpent, place of illumination, place of fire, light and combustion.
To walk hand in hand with someone as you take your step from pain to bliss, is a tremendous experience, more than any other healing experience I have been through.
Wounds; deep, insidious, unconscious, hidden. They are all drawn up and combusted within the fires of our bellies. I found it difficult at first to show my vulnerability, to show my dark frightened side, my soft belly, and to bring it up and present abandonment, hurt, self doubt, this work is only for the brave. Then within moments, see it transform into peace, acceptance, joy and laughter, miracles do happen.
I had doubts about myself as a shaman, doubts that I could do it, doubts that I would be any good, fire combusted it.
I stepped into the role of shaman and I realised that the 'thinking mind' has no place in that moment. When you cradle someone’s head in your hands, searching their soul for the vulnerability and pain, and giving it permission to surface, no mind is required, only presence, intent, love. And we wait for infinity to come.
When the healing happens infinity takes over. Its like God lifts you up and says, 'I'll take over from here, Iv'e got this...' Infinity seeps into every part of your being, it seeps into the room and the person you are holding. They called it, its theirs (and all of ours.) The world stops, just for a moment, but it feels like forever.
The body calls you back, a deep gasp of life and breath, like the first breath of a newborn. And there, glowing in the corners of the mouth, like a sun dappled forest floor, is a smile.
The illumination process takes that which you no longer need, that which stops you saying yes to life, that causes pain, suffering, illness, and combusts it with light. The transformational power of fire - serpent - brings the wound to infinity, and when you come back, it starts to transform into love, peace, acceptance, laughter, enabling you to take a step towards new life.
Hatun Amaru, great serpent, Sachamama.
Thank you thank you, thank you for helping us shed our past the way you so beautifully shed your skin.
Thank you for your coils of light you so gently and powerfully wrap around us.
Thank you for helping us feel and sense the deep recesses of the soul to find that which no longer serves us. Thank you for helping us to grow and shine so beautifully as you do.
Coils of light wrap around me, as I call serpent to me.
Soft scales gently and slowly enfold me, squeezing the spaces in my mind and soul,
I see you lurking there, un-named shadow,
Let me feel you, let me know you, remember you.
Coils of light wrap around me, my breath quickens, my throat clamps up.
No where left to hide, shadows run, pouring the ache all through me, shadow hiding in a Kuya
Don’t be afraid, you will be my medicine!
Coils of light wrap around me, and like its prey before the kill, I surrender with love and relief
A little death touches me as the last of my breath is squeezed out
I melt into infinity.
Coils of light wrap around me, and I am floating on an ocean of light.
My body calls me back, and I unravel, leaving me to bask in the warmth of the sun.
Naked I lay like a heathen on the rocks, tears rolling down my cheek.
I take a deep breath of joy and laughter bursts out!
Hatun Amaru, Hatun Amaru, Sachamama.
Shamanism has been a passion and an inspiration for me for many years now.